But what's WRONG with

I am missing several books from my bedroom bookcase. My dog is illiterate and I suspect my younger sisters are as well. The only logical culprits, then, (dismissing my parents, any recent visitors, the maid, thieves, accidents and other things of that nature) are the Honeybears. They must have been desperately thirsting for knowledge, because hauling even the lightest of paperbacks is a Herculean task for a butterball Honeybear.

Upon further investigation, it was the Honeybears. The ringleader calls herself 'ArtisticMerit bear' and will gag any passerbies with nonsense about color, theme, and the virtues of Tria markers. If she keeps this up she will become 'SeriouslyFlattened bear'.

She has dubbed the majority of my mini-library 'garbage crap' and has taken it upon herself to revamp my collection. She suggests 'Nine Stories' by J. D. Salinger, 'Odyssey of a Cockroach' by Yoko Ono, and 'Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television' by Jerry Mander (?). If I sprang for it, here are some other interesting books I might check out. Of course, the final say belongs to me, as I am the only one with a credit card and a Paypal account. I am tempted to buy the entire Animorphs set just to see her splutter.